My name is Paige Antoinette. I'll be 20 in November. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder. I've been in and out of hospitals and back and forth to different therapists/ psychologists for many years now. I have struggled with ED, self harm, suicidal idealization, psychosis, mania, poor self image, narcissism, depression, boredom, delusions, and rage. Throughout all of the drug use, overdoses, rehabs, hospitals, dangerous relationships and mutilations, I have come to realize one thing; Life goes on.
I am living proof.Although in that moment, you are hopeless, reckless, and empty, I am here to tell you that this isn't it for you, my dear. This universe has far more things planned for you then what your experiencing right now. When I was a little girl, I was always terrified my cat was going to die. I would cry and cry for hours because I was so terrified that he would leave me. My mom would eventually talk me back into reality. I always felt really silly looking back on that, because my cat was completely healthy, and young. Feelings of dependence and suicidal idealizations are possible to get through. Just like with me and my cat, you need to be talked back into reality. I guess what I'm trying to say is life may seem impossible and overwhelming at times, but It is important to never give up. If you can't do it for you, do it for someone who loves and cares about you. How would they feel if you died tonight? And if you have noone there by your side to love you, then do it for me, because I love you. NO MATTER WHAT anyone tells you, you are beautiful, you are worth it, and you are perfectly made exactly the way you are supposed to be. If people don't recognize you for your talents, then FUCK THEM. You may not be normal, But only the best ones aren't.